In times of war....
Some ideas on self soothing in another global crisis.
Dear Friends,
War in Europe is something we hoped never to see again in our lifetime. Tragic pictures from Ukraine of devastation and suffering are shaking us to the core.
Whilst we can donate to charities making a difference on the frontline, there isn’t a lot else we can do. We are stuck feeling powerless yet again, swept up in frightening events beyond our control.
For the 50th episode of my podcast, I spoke with author and Jungian analyst James Hollis about how humans find the strength to “walk through the forest” when dark times come. James spoke about moving past external solutions (pushing ourselves at work, obsessive news reading, alcohol, social media, self-help manuals) and instead finding and trusting the strength within.
If you’d like to listen to our conversation about resilience and persistence, you’ll find it HERE.
If your feelings of powerlessness or anger are overwhelming, it always helps to write them down. Keeping a journal is something I recommend to just about all my clients, for clarifying feelings and finding relief from rumination:
You can’t keep phoning people at three in the morning or going online to find answers which will tip your over-active mind into melt down. More times than not, you know what’s right for you. All you need to do is listen to yourself, deeply listen, your journal will help.
In this blog, I describe some of the benefits of journaling and some ideas on getting started.
The one thing you don’t need when you’re feeling anxious and scared is to be told to “get on with it” or “stay positive”. Most of us who grew up in the UK are familiar with this advice!
This week I read a thought-provoking article on toxic positivity by Scott Barry Kaufman. He points out that:
Telling someone to “stay positive” in the middle of a global crisis is missing out on an opportunity for growth, not to mention likely to backfire and only make them feel worse.
Instead of thinking positive, we can aim for “tragic optimism”, a concept developed by Holocaust survivor and philosopher Victor Frankl. Tragic optimism involves accepting suffering and looking it in the face, but also searching for meaning and cultivating gratitude.
And if your sleep is disturbed by dreams of war, you may also be interested to listen to one of my favourite podcasts, This Jungian Life, which explains Jungian ideas through interpreting listeners’ dreams. They have republished their episode about the place of war in the human psyche, and it will certainly help you to understand why we are so profoundly unsettled by this horrible conflict.
As always, if you’re looking to get some help with issues in your relationship, email Tricia (tricia@andrewgmarshall.com) for a virtual or in-person appointment with one of my team of therapists in London, or with me here in Berlin.
With love,
Andrew